After
by maryl
Summary: What am I doing? A new fic! (I should retire one day) This takes place after the car crash in S5. Goes AU after that. CB always.
1. Chapter 1

Hello! I cannot believe I am starting a new CB fic. I blame Maria aka Maribells because she's been giving me CB feels for like a week. Damn her. Okay, so I think I've had this one in the back of my mind for at least a year? It takes place directly after CB's car accident in S5, but goes AU after that. There will be no... You know the word I'm thinking of CBers, right? It rhymes with 'hair', and yeah, that won't be in this fic. So... That's all I can think to say? It's hot, I don't have cable, and I'm trying to lose weight so I'm going to try writing instead of eating. I may have a novel finished by next week. I kid. Here we go...

Chuck stirred in the bed, and he felt weighed down by limbs made of clay and rock. While he didn't know why at first he was desperate to open his eyes. Then it came back.

"Blair..." He choked, and it shocked him how hard it was to get her name out. Even still he said it again. "Blair..."

He felt weighed down. He felt tied down. And he struggled, still only thinking of her.

"Shhh!" A voice tried to sooth him, and it was a voice that loved him... but it was not the voice of the woman he love.

He felt cool hands rest on him arm, trying to still him, yet still he struggled. "It's alright, Chuck..."

But it wasn't, so he tried again. "Blair..."

Out of breath he finally stilled, and after long moments he was able to open his eyes and see Lily and Serena standing over him, concerned looks etched on their faces.

"It's alright, Chuck." Lily spoke again, and when he lurched again her hand found his brow, stroking his hair. "She's alright, Chuck. Blair's alright."

He missed the look Serena shot her mother. Relief was flooding through him, because why would Lily lie about this? Also he could feel his Blair, out there... somewhere. His mind now let his battered body pull him back into a sleep that healed.

It seemed like minutes later he opened his eyes, but he could tell by the heaviness in his limbs that it had probably been hours. He turned his stiff head to the side and saw Lily sleeping in a chair next to his bed.

"Don't wake her until I get an Instagram of Lily Van Der Woodsen sleeping in a chair that probably costs $29.99."

"Serena." Chuck managed to smile as he turned his head to see his sister on his other side.

She stood up and gently hugged him, smiling even though her eyes were filled with tears. "You scared us."

"I like to keep you on your toes..."

"My Louis Vuittons do that nicely on there own." She teased, then grew serious. "How do you feel?"

"Like I hit a wall... But I'll live. How's Blair?" Chuck asked, wanting more details than he'd been able to take in earlier.

"She's fine!" Serena said too brightly.

"Serena..." Chuck's eyes narrowed.

She looked away. "Chuck-"

"Where's Blair?" He demanded, his mind suddenly running with all possible answers. "I want to see her."

"Chuck-"

He interrupted her again. "Serena, tell me!" His voice broke through in the way that allowed no resistance.

Serena bit her lip. "I'm not supposed to tell you. The doctors say you shouldn't be upset right now..."

That was enough to have him tugging at the tubes in his arms as he started trying to sit up. "You said she was fine..." He muttered, hating how weak he felt, but also feeling his drive to see Blair urging him on.

"Charles, that's enough." A cool voice snapped.

He looked up to see that Lily had woken up and was now standing beside his bed. She heaved a sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. Her face was composed when she put her hand down. "Charles, what I said before was true. Blair is alright. She's conscious. She's talking. She's even been up and around. She has no permanent damage."

He waited sensing there was more coming.

Lily's lips pursed for a moment, as if she did not want to deliver the news she had, but would do so because her son needed to hear it. "Charles, the baby died."

He fell back on the bed, his heart breaking for Blair and for the little baby he had already planned a life with and who he'd already started to love. His eyes were clenched tightly shut.

"Charles, there's more."

He opened his eyes incredulously, and they burned into his mother.

"The baby died... but given how far along she was..."

He looked confused, and he heard a choked sob come from his sister. "Chuck, she had to deliver the baby."

The bottom dropped out of his stomach. He remembered how her hands had touched her belly with reverence. He remembered the smile she'd had when she talked of it. And he remembered she had been willing to give him up if he couldn't love her child, no matter how her love for him consumed her.

And now the baby was gone.

He could not imagine what she had gone through and all that mattered to him now was getting to her. A wave of pure adrenaline strength rushed through him and he shot up in the bed, throwing himself out of it. He stumbled as he propelled himself to the door with a horrified Serena and Lily trying to hold him up or keep him from killing himself. Somehow he made it into the hall, yelling her name.

"Blair!" He lurched his feet forward. "Blair!"

Blair didn't answer his call, but the furious man who stepped off the elevator, followed by his retainers, did.

"You!" Louis spat as he charged Chuck. He grabbed him by the hospital gown and slammed him against the wall.

"NO!" Serena screamed, trying desperately to pull Louis off Chuck as Lily frantically called for security.

Nurses, doctors and orderlies rushed into the hall at the commotion, and still Louis screamed at Chuck, slipping into French in his rage. It ended with Louis' fist slamming into Chuck's face before he was pulled away by his own guards.

Chuck sank down the wall to the ground. Lily and Serena struggled to lift him up.

"Well, I think it's safe to say she called off the wedding..." Lily huffed under his limp weight, shooting a cold look at two orderlies who then hurried in to take over.

"I need to see her..." Chuck said hoarsely as he was put back into his bed.

"You can't." A deeply sorry voice said from the doorway.

Chuck looked up and saw a stoic Nate walking to the end of his bed. "I promised Serena I wouldn't leave her, and I didn't." He looked to his friend. "I stayed in the hall after they kicked me out. And I followed them until they left the hospital."

"What?" Chuck asked, confused. "Where is she?"

Nate looked at his best friend and said calmly. "Blair's parents came, all of them, and her mother and Dorota were with her the whole time-" Nate had to swallow hard, and he cleared his throat. "After it was over... they decided to take her with them."

"Home?" Chuck asked, but had a sinking feeling.

Nate shook his head. "Paris."

"I need your phone." He said without question, and Nate handed it over.

Chuck found her on Nate's contacts and pressed connect. He waited, hearing it ring, but it went to voicemail. "Blair..." He knew he couldn't change what had happened, and he now realized he was at a loss as to how to make it better for her. He said the truth. "I'm sorry. I love you. Please call me."

He hadn't seen Lily signal the nurse, and he hadn't noticed the woman push a dose of pain meds into his freshly reinserted IV. He only thought of Blair as the drugs pulled him down to sleep.

"Blair..." He whispered one last time.

TahDAH! Okay, it was a touch on the short side, but I hope you all will forgive me. Hope you liked it! To all my fellow Canadians... I hope you had a Happy Canada Day! To all my American peeps... Happy Independence Day! (You'd think our two countries would have tried to plan those national birthdays a little further apart. Since you guys are older... Sorry, our bad! I think we should have signed off for Canada in October! It's like... the month of the red maple leaf! Seriously, we should have declared in October.)


	2. Chapter 2

Hello! Many, many apologies for the delay! But hey, at least I'm not like Maribells who's had us waiting for YEARS on her updates (pointed dig at Maria to get her to post, because we love her. Well, we love TUF and SoL. Her we like as a friend). I'll try to be better. I do have ideas as to where I want to go with After, so hopefully I'll get more done on it faster. You'll be understanding because I'm so cute, right? And yes, I heard you go "Pffffft!", Mary! Here we go...

Chuck rolled his eyes as his stepsister slowly pushed his wheelchair off the elevator. It had been two weeks since the accident, and Chuck had only been cleared to leave the hospital because Lily had vowed to bring him home with her. Something about Nate not being the best choice to care for Chuck during his recuperation. Nate refuted that until Serena brought up the numerous family pets Nate had 'lost' over their childhoods. Lily had ended the discussion with her decision. No one argued with her. Chuck didn't care about his recuperation. He cared about Blair and hers.

He'd spent many of his few, non drugged, waking hours asking about Blair. So far no one was giving him many answers. All he knew was that she wasn't in New York. And that she'd called off her engagement.

"I could probably drag my body across the floor faster than you're going…" He drawled as he propped his elbow on the armrest and rested his chin in his hand.

"Ha. Not a chance. I saw know how much morphine Mom had them dose you with before you left the hospital." Serena said as she continued to inch them towards his room.

"That would explain why I can't feel myself breathe." Chuck's shut his eyes.

"I don't think your pain level was what her motivation was. You know why, Chuck." Serena said the last part softly.

He did know why. Sedation was the only thing keeping him from getting up and trying to find Blair. Before he could respond they'd reached his old bedroom, where Lily was waiting for them, and ordering the nurse she'd hired to pull the drapes.

"Ah, there you two are! What took you so long?" Lily said overly brightly.

"Serena drives like her thought process. Slow." Chuck said smoothly.

"Don't be mean or I'll hide your meds." She kissed the top of his head. "Take it easy, Chuck. I gotta run!"

"Serena-" Chuck tried to speak to her about the subject he'd been trying to bring up since he woke up, but as usual everyone was dodging his questions. He was out of the hospital now, and he meant to put an end all the over medicating, and he meant to get some answers. He meant to find Blair.

Lily had had Eric's things cleared out, and was currently the nurse. Vanya came in with two of Chuck's bags, and handed them off to the maid.

"Perfect timing." Lily said smoothly. "Vanya, can you help Charles into bed?"

"Of course." Vanya nodded and moved towards Chuck. He put his arm around Chuck's shoulders and helped lift him to his feet. Chuck grimaced at the motion, feeling his skin stretch along his stitches, but he said nothing as Vanya helped ease him into bed.

The blonde man was about to stand and turn away, but his face contorted for a moment, as if he was moved to speak, and he paused.

He looked at him for a brief second. "Dorota and I are so happy you are okay, Mr. Chuck."

Vanya was about to straighten away, but Chuck's hand shot out and gripped his wrist with more strength than even he knew he had. But Chuck was motivated. "How is she?"

Everyone in the room knew who the 'she' was that he was asking about. Chuck hadn't stopped asking any one who had visited him in the hospital that same question, and it was clear he wasn't going to stop now.

He was so focused on Vanya that he didn't see Lily signal to the nurse. He grunted as he felt the needle slide into his arm, but still he didn't look away. "How is she?"

"Don't worry, Mr. Chuck. She's with her parents. She's fine."

It was the same answer Chuck had been given for weeks, and as Chuck's eyes grew heavy and his grip on Vanya loosened, he knew in his heart that they were all wrong.

A week later Serena walked off the elevator and into her mother's home.

"Hey, Mom!"

"Serena." Lily smiled at her daughter as she walked over to greet her.

"So? How is he? Are you still keeping him sedated?"

"I am not keeping him sedated. I'm caring for my son's health."

"By keeping him drugged out of his mind."

"That's for his own peace of mind... as well as my own and all the staff's."

"He's still asking about her?" Serena asked sadly.

"Every time his eyes are open." Lily looked over her shoulder towards his room, and then whispered to Serena. "How is she? I've spoken to Eleanor, who is very concerned, but not very forthcoming."

Serena shrugged. "We've only talked on the phone a couple of times... she's quiet. Won't talk about the... She's gone full Waldorf."

Lily sighed. "Poor girl."

Serena nodded, and looked over at Chuck's room. "He's going to ask about her. Maybe it's for the best that there's not much I can say?"

Lily nodded and stepped back to let Serena pass. Lily was pouring herself a drink when Serena's heels clicked quickly across the floor.

"Umm... Mom?" Serena started hesitantly. "You might want to gird your botox. Chuck's gone."

Hours later, on the other side of the ocean, Chuck's hired limo pulled up at the door of the gated courtyard of the Waldorf vineyard. Since he'd organized his escape, using loyal security guards from the Empire, he'd finally had access to a phone. He'd been calling her and texting her, but had gotten no response. So he'd done what he'd needed to do. He'd flown to France.

He cringed slightly as he got out of the car, but was steady as he walked over to the heavy door and ran the bell. He straightened his suit, and stood, still as a statue as he waited.

He rang the bell again. He was going to stand there until the door opened. He'd come all this way, and he wasn't going to leave until he'd seen her. He had to see her.

Chuck was about to ring the bell yet again, when the door opened. Harold Waldorf opened the door, and he did not look surprised to find Chuck on his doorstep.

"Charles." Harold greeted him with a gentle smile.

"Mr. Waldorf." Chuck nodded. "I'm here to see Blair."

Harold opened his mouth, but before he could say anything Chuck was striding passed him and into the house.

"Blair!" Chuck called out, and his eyes swept the empty rooms as he walked with familiar steps to Blair's bedroom. "Blair!"

The room was lifeless except for Cat who jumped off Blair's made bed at the sound of Chuck's voice, and ran out of the room.

"I'm sorry, Charles... But she's not here." Harold said sadly.

Chuck's face fell, and for a moment he thought he would collapse to the floor of her bedroom. "I just want to be there for her..."

"I know, son." Harold said as he moved towards the young man and put his hand on Chuck's shoulder. "I know."

Elsewhere in Europe...

Eleanor stood in the open French doors and looked out over the stone patio to where her daughter lay on a lounger by the pool. It was winter but Greece hadn't seemed to get the message. So in the heady heat, Blair lay in her one piece bathing suit, with her oversized sunglasses firmly in place on her nose. Eleanor watched her flip through the pages of Vogue, and she knew her daughter took in none of them. Blair was in one of her earliest Blair modes... To pretend like nothing was wrong, when she was really imploding under the surface.

"Blair..." Eleanor began as she walked to her daughter's side and sat on the edge of the lounger.

"Mother." Blair greeted coolly as she kept flipping the pages.

Eleanor nonchalantly picked up a lock of Blair's dark hair, and ran it between her fingers."Cyrus and I have been talking-"

"I should hope so, you are married after all." Blair interrupted, continuing to flip through pages and act as if she was ignoring her mother.

Eleanor tugged just hard enough on Blair's hair to get her to look over at her. "As I was saying, Cyrus and I have been talking... and we think, with the semester starting up in a couple of weeks... You should go back to school." The last part was said as more of a command than a question.

"I deferred for the whole year." Blair reminded her mother coldly.

"Yes, when you were planning a wedding and would have had a-"

Blair's body, tightened to stone, and her head jerked fractionally as she looked away. Eleanor, who rarely stumbled over words, paused, careful to omit the word that had been on the tip of her tongue. Baby.

"Well," she continued smoothly, stroking Blair's hair back over her shoulder. "the new semester starts in January and Cyrus, the dean, and I all think it would be an excellent time for you to start back."

"Fine." Was all Blair said as she tossed the magazine aside and got up from the lounger.

"Your life did not end, Blair." Eleanor said pointedly as her daughter started to walk away. "I won't let you act like it did. You have to keep living, and it starts by going back to school."

"I'm hot." Blair didn't turn around but shot her mother a pointed look over her shoulder. "And I'm tired."

"Blair." Eleanor looked skyward as if for divine assistance.

"Fine, I'll go back!" Blair snapped angrily, and then took a quick breath to steady herself. When she spoke again her voice was back to the cool detachment she'd used for weeks. "Tell the dean that I look forward to the new semester."

Blair walked away, making sure to keep her pace measured, knowing her mother was watching. She even managed not to slam the door to her room in the rented villa. She made it to the bathroom, turned on all the taps. And hurled the meager contents of her stomach into the toilet. She was crying before she was even done.

When her stomach was as empty as the rest of her felt, she sat back and leaned against the wall. Her hands found her slender stomach, and touched it briefly before yanking back as if they'd been burned. She shut her eyes and rested her head back against the tile. Reconciling herself to the idea.

Blair was going home.

TahDAH! I think I'm a little early but... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELIZABETH! If I were there... I'd take you to Sonic. Okay, you would have to take me, because I don't drive, but you get the idea.

PS-Hope this was worth the wait?


End file.
